My friend linked this Huffington Post article on Facebook and I thought I’d share! There are a few items on the list where I think, do people really do this? Overall, I agree that these are things we should stop doing. Here are the top five I can definitely relate to:
4. Viewing food as the enemy. Women often receive the message that our ultimate worth lies in our looks. Our hair should be smoothed or perfectly curled, our makeup on at all times — but natural-looking — and our bodies bangin’ (read: thin). In the quest to achieve these impossible standards, it’s easy to see food as something to contend with rather than to enjoy. Be cognizant of what you put in your body — after all, it’s the only one you have — but try to do away with the guilt. Savor every bite of that gnocchi with gorgonzola or that Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream or those fresh cherry tomatoes. Food should not come with regrets. As Nora Ephron wrote, “I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them.”
I love Nora Ephron’s quote! With all these diets and constant body image reminders, it’s hard not to resent food at times. Damn you burger for being full of cholesterol but being oh-so-good! To heck with it. I say eat the burger, fries, and milkshake but counter it with exercise and veggies in your next meal. It’s all about balance, portion control, and not feeling guilty when you do indulge. YOLO, am I right?!
9. Holding on to regrets and guilt. “I’m pretty anti-regret,” Lena Dunham said at the 2012 New Yorker Festival. Guilt and regret are two emotions that usually serve to torture the person feeling them. Acknowledge your regrets and guilts, and then move on to the best of your ability.
I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Those mistakes you make are there from you to learn from them. It’s a part of growing up.
11. Judging other women’s sex lives. No woman deserves to be put down for who she sleeps with, how many people she sleeps with or how she chooses to express her sexuality. Next time you’re about to call another woman a “prude” or a “slut” just zip your lips. Even Miley Cyrus and her twerking shouldn’t be slut-shamed.
I know I can be guilty of this. We, as women, are the strongest critics to ourselves and to each other. Let’s try supporting rather than putting each other down, especially when it comes to our sexuality.
18. Being in relationships for the sake of having a relationship. If you’re terrified of being alone, the worst thing you can do is jump into a relationship you don’t really want. Nothing good comes from tying yourself to a person who isn’t right for you simply because you feel the need to couple up. As Nora Ephron wrote when she launched HuffPost Divorce: “Marriages come and go, but divorce is forever.”
This is a huge one for me. I’ve seen countless not-so-good relationships remain because of this reason alone. And I’ve jumped into a relationship partly because I was feeling lonely and sort of lost. I’ve realized that I’d rather be single than in a relationship with someone to whom I’m not fully committed or with someone who doesn’t love me 110%. Plus, I believe the best way to “find yourself” (for the most part) is when you are on your own after that big breakup. You’ll learn what you are really looking for in a life partner and you will hopefully be a better significant other because of it.
21. Spending time with people out of obligation. Just because you spent every waking moment of your elementary school days with someone doesn’t mean you have anything in common with her now. There’s no need to see every old friend and third cousin who passes through your city. Be intentional about who you spend your time with and allow yourself to let some relationships fade away naturally.
For me, time is precious so I try to choose wisely how I spend it.
Anything from the list you can totally relate to or know you need to stop doing?